Our Search for Identity

I believe that the discovery of meaning and values is essentially related to our achievement of identity as persons. The search for identity entails a dedication to give birth to ourselves by
scrutinizing the meaning of our uniqueness and humanness. A major problem for many people is that they have lost a sense of self, because they have directed their search for identity outside themselves. In their attempt to be liked and accepted by everyone, they have become finely tuned to what others expect of them but alienated from their own inner desires and feelings. As May observes, "they are able to respond but not to choose." He even sees inner emptiness as the chief problem in contemporary society; too many of us, have become "hollow people" who have very little discernment of who are we and what we feel. May cites one person’s succinct description of the experience of "hollow people": I’m just a collection of mirrors, reflecting what everyone expects of me".

Moustakas describes the same type of alienation fr0m self that May talks about. For Moustakas, alienation is the "developing of a life outlined and determined by others, rather than a life based on one’s own inner experience." If we become alienated from ourselves, we don’t trust our own feelings but retort automatically to others as we conceive they want us to retort. As a result, we live a world devoid of excitement, risk, and meaning.

In order to find out who we are, we may have to let parts of us die. We may need to shed old roles and identities that no longer give us exuberance. Doing so may necessitate a period of affliction for our old selves. Most people who have battled with shedding sophomoric and dependent facade and presumptuous a more active stance toward life know that such rebirth isn’t easy and that it may entail pain as well as joy.

Jourard (1971) makes a point that I find stimulating. He maintains that we begin to cease living when meaning vanishes from life. Yet too often we are encouraged to believe that we have only one identity, one role, one way to be, and one purpose to fulfill in a lifetime. This way of thinking can be figuratively deadly, for when our one ground for being alive is outgrown or lost, we may begin to die psychologically instead of obtaining the challenge of reinventing ourselves anew. In order to keep ourselves from dying spiritually, we need to permit ourselves to imagine new ways of being, to plan new goals to live for, to search for new and more achieving meanings, to acquire new identities, and to reinvent our relationships with others. In essence, we need to allow parts of us die in order to experience the rebirth that is necessary for growth.

To me, then, attaining identity doesn’t necessarily mean contentiously adhering to a certain way of thinking or behaving. Instead, it may involve trusting ourselves enough to become open to new potentialities. Nor is an identity something we achieve for all time; rather, we need to be persistently willing to reexamine our patterns and priorities, our habits and our relationships. Above all, we need to develop the ability to listen to our inner selves and trust what we hear. To take just one example, I’ve friends for whom academic life has become stale and empty and who have chosen to leave it in response to their inner feelings. Some have opted to travel and live modestly for a time, taking in new cultures and even digesting into them for awhile. They may not be directly betrothed in preparing for a career and, in that sense, "establishing" themselves, but I believe they are attaining their own identities by being open to new experiences and ways of being. For some of them, it may take real courage to defy the demand to settle down in a career or "complete" their education.

Our search for identity implicates three key existential questions, none of which has easy or definite answers; "Who am I?" "where am I going?" "Why?"

The question "Who am I?" Is never settled once and for all, for it can be answered differently at different times in our life. We need to transform life, especially when old identities no longer seem to supply a significance or give us guidance. As we have seen, we must decide whether to let others tell us who we are or take a stand and define ourselves.

"Where am I going?" this issue relates to our plans for a lifetime and the means we expect to use in achieving our goals. Like the previous question, this one requires periodic review. Our life goals are not set once and for all. Again, we do show the valor it takes to determine for ourselves where we are going, or do we look for a mentor to show us where to go?

Asking the question "Why" and searching for reasons are characteristics of being a human. We face fastly changing world in which old values give way to new ones or to none at all. Part of molding an identity connotes that we are actively searching for meaning, trying to make rationality of the world in which we find ourselves.

A Hostage No More

I ran as to be free,
I hid so as not to be seen,
I kept quiet so as not to be heard
I made myself stupefied so as not to apprehend.

But...no matter what I did
My pursuer never stopped following me
... it was always behind me
Like a malady that couldn't be healed.

My soul was shivering within me,
Day and night I was trembling with agitation
...scaredto be castigated
...scared to be punished.

I kept on fighting to be free
I submerged myself in vintage
I lost myself in a wilderness
But, just the same, I found myself
A wanderer of my own conscience.

Time came,
When I could no longer endure the strain
When I can no longer withstand the hurting thorns.

Yes, I gave up scourging in darkness
paid my charge
To find myself a hostage no more.

Christmas

Christmas - a word evocative of so much in the hearts of all Christians! Christmas - easily the best loved and therefore the most proclaimed of all perennial events.

Wherever one goes, in cities, towns, schools, and homes, one finds representations of the Yuletide mood, a spirit which seems to flourish in the twelfth month of every year and which seems to break through into all of us as though it suddenly came to exist in the very air we breath. In the busy downtown sections and in the private recesses of our homes, we hear disc jockeys reviving old popular songs appropriate for the season. These are the Christmas carols, classic but engrossing strains which have stood the transitory of years and without which the celebration of Christmas will probably seem imperfect.

At night time, the iridescent glitter of vari-colored lights lends a jubilant air to our metropolis. Big and small stores alike, at times even little stalls, display appealing paradigm Christmas threads. In department stores, the sale of greeting cards and gifts becomes a quick and lucrative business. Once more we greet Santa Claus, the modernized version of St. Nicholas, as the jolly, ruddy-faced oldster with the thick, white beard and with the red cotton-lined suit and cap. The living room of every home is often than not, graced by a captivating Christmas tree decorated with gleaming tinsels, bulbs of red, blue and gold, and cute, bright little what-nots.

These are spectacles and traditions amalgamated with Christmas; however, to some people the word has a gustatory supplication. To the rich there are visions of the dinner table crowded with "jamon", "lechon", roasted turkey or "puchero". To the poor, no matter how hard they have to economize for months in their daily meals, there is always a dinner celebration suitable for making a blissful though simple Christmas. There are always native delicacies usually and ordinarily associated with Christmas. The Tagalogs have their puto bumbong and bibingka, the Visayans, their empanada and pancit molo, in Pampanga, reputably known to be the home of good cooks, we have open "calame" and if it is the "pasalubong" type, only a Pampangueno heart can respond to that challenge to the teeth and tongue and palate. The resistant but tasteful and utterly savory delicacy is a pleasure to served more fully for the young who have strong teeth and jaws and to those who can bite crunch and grind it, and the Ilocanos their tupig.

But this are only eventual. A true Filipino and Catholic Christmas is one which becomes a fountain of gaiety, delightedness, and satisfaction not only because of the external traditions that have come to be associated with it such as the carollings the gay parties, and the exchange of gifts, but also because it calls for the best in us and reawakens our slumbering Faith. In response to the invitation of the church bells we brave the cold December air to attend the Misa de Gallo for nine consecutive days.

The true Filipino spirit of Christmas is not felt in the erroneous feature of Christmas trees and lanterns of different styles and arrangement and gay colors, to the ensuing disregard of the Christ Child in his lonely manger. For us Catholics the veritable spirit is more befittingly revealed in a belen,for the Christ Child Who came to earth for love of man is the pure emblem of love. Christmas to be fully Christmas must be uttered by Love. Christmas is the time to forgive and forget past injuries, to reconcile families than to receive , to be at peace at oneself and with the world - for peace on earth can come only to mean of goodwill.

Love and Fantasy

by ThinkerArian

I can ascend to the sky,
like the well-known Superman;
I dunk into the ocean;
like the perspicacious Aquaman.

I can run so quick,
like Robin and Batman;
I can mount a spire,
like Mr. Spiderman.

I can hearken all sounds
like Bionic woman;
I can behold all things,
like six million dollar man.

...but why can't I be loved,
like my neighbor in settlement?
...but why can't I love,
like an ordinary human?

Man is love and love is man.
A mortal heart is for the one who loves;
I can uniquely love and also be loved,
If I hold a heart like that of a man.

Stranger

by ThinkerArian

Why I learn to love you,
whom I never see and don't know.
Why I fall to someone like you
and felt I truly love you.

Love is a great mystery
hard to resist and fight
just for an exchanging messages
I was trap and touched.

Stranger, you possess a magnetic charm
a strong-willed that I am
carried away by your saccharine approach
gives a bit change and colors my world.

Your being God fearing attracts me most
your rich ideas full of His words draw me more close
lifting our spirits to Him are your words
to feel His presence at the midst of our repose.

Stranger, why I can't resist you?
Why I can't ignore you?
Why I can't freed myself from thinking of you?
Though I wish to get out of your life and totally forget you.

You open my heart to this kind of love,
and let me feel more that my life showered with love.
But why this time I feel the emptiness
and letting me feel a chaos life.

I don't know here to put myself and where to stand
for you're not giving me an assurance of love
ignoring my queries makes me feel sad
tormented heart is what I have.

Oh, stranger, I feel a bloody heart
you're really a valiant warrior and struck my heart
hitting my life with that killing shot
and pampering me with your venomous delight.

'Til when I'll be in this cage of pain
'til when I'll wait for your answers to give me light
'til when I'll understand your demanding routine
'til when I"ll wait to see you real.

You're a stigma that marks my being
strong force I can't understand keeps me pulling
reminding me of you and communicate often
and never give up loving you.

we build strong relationship with powerful faith
God-centered we are what we believe
He is at our midst you always uttered
protecting us and make believe.

I feel Hid presence in my agonizing moment
comforting me in my loneliness
"don't give up" and "cheer up" from a voice I heard
favored blessing I heard and granted.

Stranger, God truly loves you
because you're always with Him and in him
He doesn't want us to stop serving
and do something great for Him.

Our relationship is really blessed
but it's within us to fight trials and adversities,
we both promised to love each other 'til out last breath
and made a vow to the Lord with sweet promises.

Things happened through exchanging messages
uniqueness of relationship we have you said
made us free; it's realness and faithfulness
with the Lord we owe our life and respect.

You and me with the Lord
what a great and wonderful moment we shared
despite the distance, miles apart we couldn't easily reach
still go on and fight over battles of life we encounter and felt.

'Til when we'll be like this?
will you fight for me and stand to your promises?
How I wish you'll not give up and fulfill it
to make dream come true and fell its true happiness.

Will there be a chance for us to meet?
Will there be time for us to live together?
Will you be forever a stranger to me?
Ah! whatever will be...