On Hopelessness

It is as if my mind abandoned my heart... left it on its own. Indescribable, irreparable. Simply, crazy. Their promise of working together has been broken and neither tear nor blood would cause it to reunite.

My vision is narrowed, my hearing impaired. Nothing good comes out of my tongue but criticism, hate, and disgust. No matter how I try, I fail... and trying once more seems futile for things turn out as bad as before... as if life is playing a trick on me -- it is unfortunate to realize after some time that I am running in circles.

The price to bail me out of this imprisonment is too costly.

I cannot afford it.

What should I do now? Breathe until there is air left of me.

I am angry... hopeless. The world has torn my clothes and pushed me down to my knees. Where is my strength? Where is my hope? Where is my faith? Where is my dream? I've been keeping them, nursing them with so much care... but the world never stopped taking it away from me. Now I have been robbed of everything I owned. I have nothing but me. A me without a soul. A me who is all matter. Only a tinge of blood would be shed if I will be pierced again because I have been pierced over and over without pity.

As my heart struggles to perfuse life all over what's left of me, I would no longer wish to perish, for I have long been slaughtered.